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Investing in future you

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With the cost of living really starting to bite, money can feel tight just now. Between the National Insurance rise, energy bills soaring and petrol prices reaching record highs, anything we can do to help get a better grip on our money matters is welcome. Although it’s not a magic bullet, making a budget can be a great way to get a clear picture of your finances – you can see where your money’s going, and hopefully where you can save some.

Whether you’re paying off debt, saving for a deposit, or just trying to put some money away for a much-needed holiday, budgets can help you stay on track. I found using the 50-30-20 budget rule was a really simple way to keep on top of my finances.

The idea is you spend:

  • 50% on essential needs like rent/mortgage payments, bills, food and transport.
  • 30% on wants – all those good (but optional) things like eating out, shopping, your Spotify and Netflix subscriptions etc.
  • 20% on savings or paying off debt. This could be putting money into a savings account, investment or even a pension fund, or paying off anything from personal loans to credit cards.

So if your take home pay is £1,500 a month after tax, you’d have:

  • £750 for needs,
  • £450 for wants, and
  • £300 for savings or debts.

When I decided to try this budget the idea of building up savings seemed more attractive than paying off debt. But on his excellent MoneySavingExpert website, Martin Lewis recommends looking at the interest rates on any outstanding debt first. It’s often better to pay this off before starting to build up savings – it can even save you money in the longer term.

Reframing saving

I tried to reframe the act of saving in my mind as investing in future me.

I tried to reframe the act of saving in my mind as investing in future me. So rather than taking money away from myself just now, I’m actually giving money to my future self. Or to be more specific, investing in the things I want to do in the future – like that long-awaited holiday abroad (hopefully…).

20% might seem like a lot to save, especially when times are tight and with lots of competing priorities, so why not make it a figure you work toward over time? When creating my budget I tried to save what I could afford before working up to 20%. After paying off my credit card, I found putting money straight into my savings as soon as I got paid worked best, as waiting until the end of the month to see what I had left usually meant staring at an empty bank account.

In reality
The 50-30-20 budget might mean you’re no longer dedicating as much cash to all those wants. And with rising costs you might find it is difficult to make the budget work straight away, but it can be something to aspire to. Even just making a budget can really help give you a clearer picture of what you’re spending your money on and where you can afford to cut back.

If you’re struggling with money or have any financial worries, the MoneyHelper website is a terrific resource to help with all things financial – from debt and household bills, to benefits and pensions, they’ve got it covered.

To borrow sentiment from a Chinese proverb – the best time to make a budget was a couple of years ago, the second best time is now.

Proud to be…

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The theme for Black History Month (BHM) this year is “Proud to be…”. This year, black and brown people across the UK are being encouraged to share different traits about themselves that they’re proud of in an effort to add a bit of a personal touch to BHM whilst also celebrating the diverse heritage and culture of black and brown people in the UK.

In line with this year’s theme, I thought it would be fitting to share a few things about myself that I am proud of/proud to be. In doing so, I hope to inspire other black and brown people to do the same (either publicly or privately, whichever’s easier for you :))

I am…

  • Proud to be black
  • Proud to be Zimbabwean
  • Proud to be a part of the conversation
  • Proud to be me

It feels weird to publicly express that I’m proud to be black. A lot of people are probably thinking “Well Panashe, we’d assume that goes without saying”, but honestly, I don’t think that’s necessarily true. Growing up black is quite complex – there have been numerous points in my life where I’ve questioned my “blackness”. And many-a-time where I’ve been made to feel as though being black makes me a lesser person.

“Don’t get emotional, you’ll just be labelled that angry black man.” “Hmmm, maybe don’t do that/say that, you’ll be looked at weirdly.” These are just a couple of thoughts that regularly pop into my head during interactions with people. “Conformity is key, and any step away from the status quo is a step towards ostracisation.” I read this in a blog post by Kendra Summers and it really resonated with me.

Being Zimbabwean adds yet another layer of complexity to being black and this really only became apparent to me when I moved to the UK. Now, even among other black people (mainly Black British people), I occasionally feel a little out of place. I love being Zimbabwean – I love our food, I love our languages, I love our traditions. But there have been moments where I’ve been made to feel ashamed of being Zimbabwean, moments I would rather not bring up for fear of getting into conversations marred by prejudice and based on absurd stereotypes.

Zimbabwe is the place I call home – growing up there played a big role in moulding me into the person I am today and I’m proud to say that! That sense of pride and willingness to share where I’m from has mainly come as a result of having conversations with people who have had similar experiences. Although the cause of discrimination may be different and everyone’s experiences are unique, often I can empathise with that feeling of self-doubt/anger/confusion/sadness that comes through during conversations with other people. Hearing about and trying to understand other peoples’ experiences has had a profound effect on me – not only has it allowed me to view life from a different perspective, but it’s also made it easier to embrace who I am.

All of the things above are a big part of who I am and I am proud to say that out loud – I am a black man, proud of where I’m from, proud of the way I speak, proud to be me!

My Menopause Story

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  • Menopause symptoms

    Hot sweats

    Vaginal dryness and discomfort during sex

    Difficulty sleeping

    Fatigue

    Low mood or anxiety

    Depression

    Lack of focus

    Headaches

    Problems with memory or concentration

    Water retention, flatulence, bloating

  • Menopause symptoms

    Stomach pain

    Irregular periods

    Weight gain / slower metabolism

    Breast soreness

    Burning mouth syndrome

    Painful joints  / muscle tension

    Dizzy spells / pins & needles

    Thinning hair

    Increased facial hair

  • Menopause symptoms

    Gum recession

    Itchy skin

    Brittle nails

    Urinary incontinence

    Body odour

    Hay fever and allergies

    Heart palpitations

    Panic attacks

    Osteoporosis

    Irritability

    Loss of libido

The menopause pretty much affects all aspects of your life – like a total system meltdown. So it’s not surprising irritability and loss of libido feature on the list of symptoms, given all the rest . . .

The lists above include known symptoms women across the globe suffer during the peri-menopause and menopause journey. While I don’t claim to have experienced all of them, a lot of them are very familiar to me. Some I was aware of and was expecting – hot flashes, weight gain, irregular periods, loss of libido. Some, were frankly a nasty surprise (the flatulence, urinary incontinence, the emergence of a hairy jawline, the depression). The hot flashes, by the way, are like a gas water heater flaring violently into action.

Of course, the knock on effect has been a loss of self-esteem and my sense of self, who I am, all I have achieved. For me, it also coincided with a crisis of confidence in my career and my ability to hold down a senior role.

Cultural expectations

The real kick is, as you are struggling to cope with crippling hormonal headaches, sleep loss, hot flashes and the like there’s an expectation to maintain a youthful appearance and a slim figure: eat less, much less! Exercise more, much more! Just as the menopause has robbed you of energy and willpower you’re encouraged not to ‘let yourself go’.

The media bombards us with images of the perfect older women who have held it together and still look amazing for their age. Good for them, but it isn’t truly representative of the majority of menopausal women. And because the menopause is a women’s issue, it is by default a minority issue – even though women represent 50% of people on the planet.

When will women’s health be prioritised?

So beyond Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), there is nothing available to alleviate symptoms and very little research into other methods. It is simply not a priority. HRT is not an option for me and my sister due to a history of breast cancer in my immediate family.

Juggling health, family and work

The menopause hit me like a steam train as my parents started to need additional support, and in my mother’s case, there was the increasing dementia as well as physical deterioration. Years of (sometimes) painful periods, the dangers and pain of childbirth are just the start of women’s health issues we all have to learn to cope with. The onslaught gathers pace during the menopause with juggling work, teenagers, ageing parents and a whole host of nasty symptoms.

Light at the end of the tunnel?

I can’t say I am through the other side of my menopausal journey even now – the whole process can take around 10 years – 10 years! But fingers crossed, I might be close. I haven’t had a period for more than 20 months. The hot flashes that come and go for months at a time have stopped again over the last few weeks and I am sleeping a little better. I haven’t had to change my sweat-soaked pyjamas or the sheets in the middle of the night for a while now. Oh, and the frequently recurring breast cysts I used to get have stopped.

But the menopause is wholly unpredictable and you never know, some of this might come back again at any time.

For information about menopause and other aspects of aging women’s health, visit https://www.imsociety.org/

 

How not to panic through a pandemic and other things my mental health has taught me…

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When was the last time you had an anxious thought, a squirmy feeling in your tummy, or a complete lack of interest in doing things? Yesterday? Maybe last week? For most of us we experience these common, uncomfortable feelings regularly, but they usually pass pretty quickly.

 

However, if you’re one of the 1 in 4 people in England who experience or live with a mental health problem, you’re probably only too familiar with these feelings and understand the toll mental health problems can have on your wellbeing. It’s not just anxiety; mental health issues can take many forms, from depression to psychotic disorders. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and World Mental Health day is a great opportunity for us all to start talking openly about our own mental health.

 

My name is Rachel and I’m one of the 1 in 100 people living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). For years I hid my disorder because I was ashamed and afraid of being judged. OCD is a mental health condition often misunderstood as a love of organisation, when in reality sufferers experience frequent intrusive and unwelcome obsessional thoughts (OCDUK).

 

The Coronavirus pandemic has been challenging for us all, but throw in OCD and it’s added a whole extra set of complications for me. While many of us feel like we’re coming back to life after many months of lockdowns, I’m struggling (like so many others) with the idea of ‘the new normal’ and going back to the life I lead before.

 

It’s taken me a long time, but I’m slowly getting back to my ‘normal’ with the help of medication and a therapist. While this journey I’m on has been tough, I’ve learnt a lot of things along the way:

 

  • It’s ok not to be ok: If you’re struggling, reaching out to your friends and family can help take some of the burden away. Sometimes it’s easier to talk things through with someone you don’t know – organisations such as Mind, OCD UK and Samaritans gave me some practical ways to look after my mental health.
  • If it feels scary, it’s probably good for you: Having OCD means I overestimate threat, often catastrophizing to the worst possible scenario. In the past it’s been all too easy to stay in my house where I feel safe, but by pushing myself to do the scary things (going for a walk, to the shops or to visit a friend) it makes each experience easier and quietens the fear monster in my brain.
  • Slow and steady wins the race: Sometimes when you’re on the recovery journey you can fall into the trap of either not doing anything, or doing too much! I’ve found tackling one scary thing at a time gives me the best rates of success but I’m also mindful that sometimes a quiet day on the sofa is exactly what my mental health needs.
  • Speak up: In the past, I haven’t told people when I’m uncomfortable or struggling with a situation. The pandemic has forced me to be honest when I’m having a hard time – with myself and with others. Being open about my struggles has helped my family, friends and colleagues understand why I might be acting ‘strangely’ so they can help me through those tough situations. It also takes away the stigma and makes conversations about mental health easier.
  • Be kind to yourself: Probably the most important thing I’ve learnt is to be kind to myself. We’re living in unprecedented times and it’s ok to find things hard sometimes.

 

Focusing on the people and things that bring me joy and comfort has allowed me to push forward with my life, one small step at a time. The pandemic might not be over yet, but for me, life is starting to feel sunny again.

 

If you’re struggling with your mental health or you’re affected by any of the issues I’ve talked about in this blog, you can call Samaritans on: 116 123 or visit their website: www.samaritans.org/

Two people talking

The Big Listen

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As restrictions begin to lift across the UK and we edge back towards normality, it’s tempting to try to do everything all at once. We might feel the need to make up for lost time. We might even feel pressured into throwing ourselves back into socialising, shopping (in actual shops), mixing with other people we don’t know, just because everyone else seems to be embracing our newly regained freedom… It might make some of us feel completely overwhelmed where others are just a bit anxious about the thought of getting back to ‘normal’… whatever that is.

However we feel, it’s good to remind ourselves that we’re not alone.

There’s loads of support available if you find these feelings start to impact your mental health. From blogs and advice from the Mental Health Foundation, to podcasts and support with stress from Headspace.

On Saturday 24 July Samaritans are running their annual Big Listen campaign to remind us they’re here for all of us. Whenever we need them. 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can follow all their activity on Big Listen day across their social media feeds – @samaritanscharity on Instagram and Facebook, and @samaritans on Twitter. Or you can check out their website for details of events taking place in your local area.

Opening up to talk about how we’re feeling can be daunting, but it can have amazing benefits too. Samaritans believe in the life-saving power of conversation – take a look at their Small Talk Saves Lives video.

If you’d like to volunteer for Samaritans checkout their website. And if you need support you can call Samaritans on 116 123 – calls are free and lines are always open.

Normalising and using gender pronouns correctly

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Article written by BLUP50 talent Charlie Greening.

This June is pride month for the LGBTQIA+ community. During this month it is more important than ever that everyone within that community and ally’s of it show their respect, support and understanding of the difficult issues those in the community face.

I am a pansexual and gender-neutral person myself. I have been in relationships with beautiful people of all genders and sexual preferences. So, I thought I’d give you a little insight as to what is important for the LGBTQIA+ community right now and what you can do to show support. I am going to be covering the topic of gender pronouns. You might read this and already be tensing your muscles in a confused panic, especially if you are a heterosexual cis-gendered person. Not to worry, I understand that there is some doubt around this topic as people commonly fear causing offence or think that it is too complex of a topic to get their head around. I am here to explain to you what it means to be non-binary or gender-neutral, how to be respectful and supportive, and why it is important that you state your preferred pronouns, especially if you are cis-gendered!

WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT
Non-binary / gender queer people use gender neutral pronouns. Some people don’t fit into categories of ‘male’ or ‘female’. Some people have a gender that blends elements of being a man, a woman or have a gender that is different than either ‘male’ or ‘female’. Some people don’t identify with any gender and some people’s gender changes over time. Some society’s, like ours in the UK, tend to recognise just two genders. The idea that there is only two genders is sometimes called a ‘gender binary’ because the word binary means ‘having two parts’. Therefore, ‘non-binary’ is a term people use to describe a gender that doesn’t fall into one of these two.

SOME THINGS IMPORTANT TO KNOW
Non-binary is nothing new! Non-binary people are not confused about gender or ‘following a fad’. Non-binary identities have been recognised for a millennia by cultures and societies all around the world. In some cultures, gods have been depicted as genderless or gender-fluid for thousands of years. Not all people undergo medical procedures, but for some it is critical and even life saving! Most transgendered people are not non-binary. These people often identify as either ‘male’ or ‘female’ and want to be treated like any other cis-gendered person, so should be! Being non-binary is not the same as being intersex. Intersex people have different anatomy or genes that don’t fall into typical ‘male’ or ‘female’ biology.

HOW TO BE RESPECTFUL
You don’t have to completely understand in order to be respectful. However, it is important to educate yourself as much as you can. Always use the preferred name a person asks you to use. Try not to make any assumptions about a persons gender, If you are unsure you should ask. Advocate for policies that are inclusive to non-binary or gender-neutral people in public spaces. Something as simple as going to the bathroom can be very difficult for a these people due to fear of being verbally or physically assaulted.

WHY YOU SHOULD STATE YOUR PRONOUNS
You can now add your preferred pronouns to Instagram, and I highly encourage you to do so! Even if you feel as though you don’t really need to. The more people that do, the more we can normalise this behaviour and make the process of sharing and accepting pronouns better for all of us. The University of North Carolina wrote: “Normalising and using correct pronouns leads to acceptance and de-stigmatisation of individuals who ‘deviate’ from traditionally used pronouns or pronouns that do not align with their physical appearance or gender-based name. By stating one’s pronouns the need for explanation is eliminated”. Including pronouns on your social media profiles, in email sign offs and when you introduce yourself to someone is a small step that cis-gender people can – and should – be making.

WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT
The Trevor Project’s 2020 National Survey on LGBTQIA+ Youth’s Mental Health found that a heart-breaking fifty two per cent of trans and non-binary youth have seriously considered death by suicide. Those who reported having their personal pronouns respected by all or most people in their lives attempted suicide at half the rate of those who didn’t have their pronouns respected. It is evident there is more to be done in normalising pronouns and it is vital that it comes from cis-gendered people! This is because cis-gendered people have a privilege that allows the opportunity to work to normalise without the risks that trans, non-binary and gender-neutral people face. It is essential that they use this privilege to cultivate an environment where trans and non-binary people don’t feel alienated!

Article written by BLUP50 talent Charlie Greening (She / They) (@chazzabel)

Conversion therapy – when will it end?

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conversion therapy
/kənˈvəːʃ(ə)n/ /ˈθɛrəpi/

  1. the practice of trying to change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity

You’d be forgiven for thinking anything labelled as ‘therapy’ is a positive experience resulting in long-term benefits to your mental and physical wellbeing. But when that therapy involves trying to persuade a person to live as something they’re not, there’s really nothing therapeutic, medically endorsed, beneficial or healing about it. It is, in fact, the antithesis of all these things, often causing serious mental and physical harm to those who undergo it.

What does conversion therapy involve?
Sometimes also called ‘gay cure therapy’, the practice can involve talking therapies, prayer, physical harm, exorcism, being deprived of food and ‘corrective’ rape (mercifully already illegal). Essentially, it means trying to stop a person from being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, persuade them to suppress their sexuality or change their mind about living as a different gender to the one they were assigned at birth.

NHS England and other organisations have made their stance clear on these ‘unethical and potentially harmful’ therapies and with mounting pressure on the government to address the issue, some small steps in the right direction have been made this year.

Sounds horrendous, so when will it be banned?
Back in 2018, Penny Mordaunt (Minister for Women and Equalities) published her LGBT Action Plan 2018: Improving the lives of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender people under Theresa May’s government. Along with taking more action on hate crime and appointing a LGBT health adviser the promise was to ‘bring forward proposals to end the practice of conversion therapy in the UK’.

Fast forward to summer 2020 and Boris Johnson also promised to progress plans banning conversion therapy. Adamant the practice is “absolutely abhorrent and has no place in a civilised society, and has no place in this country”, he went on to say the government would conduct a study to find out how, where and how frequently it’s happening before implementing legislative change to outlaw it.

Skip forward again to the Queen’s speech in May this year and yet another public pledge to progress a ban… but the law still won’t be changed until a public consultation goes ahead first.

How long will the consultation take before real change is made?
Well, looking at the pattern of delay over the past few years, it might be easier to ask how long the proverbial piece of string is… On a more positive note though, the very fact that government has conversion therapy on their agenda and has pledged to eradicate it is progress and for now, gives the LGBTQ+ community a glimmer of hope.

What can you do?
There’s lot more information out there so take some time to read up – Stonewall and Gay Times always cover issues impacting the queer community. You can also add your voice to the calls for a complete ban by petitioning your local MP – head to the Ban Conversion Therapy website and use the search function to get started.

Reading – a window into wellbeing

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Reading and wellbeing go hand in hand and it’s something we’re passionate about in the 4meWorld team. As we go into a new year where looking after yourself is more important than ever, we wanted to share some of our favourite wellbeing reads with you.

Sam recommends The unexpected joy of being sober – Catherine Gray

Discovering a happy, healthy, wealthy alcohol-free life

Catherine Gray’s book, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, details her battle with problem drinking in a warm and light-hearted manner. While I don’t have a bad relationship with alcohol, I did feel the tips for cutting down consumption definitely resonated with me.

Gray discusses how much more enriched her life has become without alcohol and the book is packed full of facts for the ‘sober curious’.  It also signposts some great wellness social media accounts for those who want to live life a little more clear headed.

What I also found interesting was how many celebrities I didn’t know are teetotal, from Zac Efron to Brad Pitt. Sobriety doesn’t seem to have done them any harm!

The book may not have convinced me to go completely sober (at the time of writing), but when reaching for the next drink I’ve been left asking myself ‘Do you really need another’?

 

Max recommends Think like a monk – Jay Shetty (Audible version)

You don’t have to be a monk, to think like one

If ever we needed some actual practical help to calm our minds, increase resilience and cope with escalating levels of anxiety, it’s now! And for me, turning to the wisdom and experience of Jay Shetty in these dark days has made all the difference.

In his book Think like a monk, Jay offers inspirational insight into the often intense, conceptual lessons he learned during his time as a monk. And though it’s interesting to follow his journey to enlightenment, joy and mental freedom, the real jewel is his ability to apply what he learned to the daily mental exercises and advice he shares, and which we can all benefit from.

If you want to delve into and build your own hidden power, reduce stress, learn how to forgive yourself and others, release your mind from endless negativity or even just discover a bit of self-love, this book is a great first step. And if you’d like the enhanced experience of hearing these wise words straight from Jay himself, I’d highly recommend you curl up on the sofa with a cup of tea and listen to the Audible version so Jay’s words of wisdom can wash soothingly over you.

While I’m usually a fan of cover to cover reading so I can lose myself in the narrative, this book lends itself really well to return visits. You’ll find new cherries worth picking as well as those which become fruitful staples on your path to greater joy and a life filled with purpose.

In the spirit of well wishing, I’ll leave you with one of Jay’s many inspirational quotes: “Let’s not make happiness and success about the size of our homes, but about the size of our hearts; let’s not make it about gratification but gratitude.”

 

Rachel recommends No such thing as normal – Bryony Gordon

What my mental illness has taught me about mental wellness

In Bryony Gordon’s latest book No such thing as Normal, she uses her own experience of mental illness to compile a practical, compassionate guide to mental wellbeing. As a person who lives with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (commonly known as OCD) and anxiety, I found this book refreshing, relatable and most of all helpful to my situation. Bryony isn’t afraid to talk about difficult issues and her chapter on Lockdown and its effects on our mental health is particularly poignant.

Bryony helps the reader put in place a practical plan to help them look after their mental health – including an incredibly detailed chapter on how to get help and what to expect when you make the brave decision to take that step.

I came away from this book feeling mentally stronger and I’ve since used some of Bryony’s tips and analogies to help me in times of struggle or uncertainty.

 

Sam recommends Love imperfect things – Haemin Sunim

How to accept yourself in a world that’s striving for perfection!

I came across this simply written, calming book in January last year. I can’t remember how I actually came to know about it, but I’m glad I found it. This book probably won’t tell you anything you haven’t heard before but even still, it made me reflect on my own life; the facades I present to the world, my capacity for empathy, pride, failure, and acceptance during life’s ups and downs.

The book, written by a Buddhist monk, is packed with wisdom and illustrated with real life stories on topics like career, relationships, and stress. Reading it was like being wrapped in a warm blanket – it somehow made me feel more happy, peaceful and content. I think it’s a book I’ll always keep on my shelf.

 

Allan recommends The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment – Eckhart Tolle

Living in the now is the truest path to happiness and enlightenment.

This book really struck a chord with all we’re going through just now. Eckhart Tolle encourages us to really appreciate the present moment and spend less time worrying about what might (or probably won’t) happen in the future.

During lockdown I know I’ve been guilty of letting my mind wander and worry about things I’ve no control over. The Power of Now explains how to enjoy the space we’re in, be present and enjoy what we’ve got right in front of us. He encourages us to really experience the moment, because in a second it’s gone and you won’t have the chance to enjoy it again.

 

We’d love to hear from you – what books have you been reading to boost your wellbeing? Let us know in the comments below!

How to save energy and money this winter

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Many of us are continuing to work from home in these early days of 2021, and with January traditionally being a month when every penny is pinched, it makes sense to look for savings wherever we can.

Big Energy Saving Winter are encouraging all of us to ‘Check. Switch. Save.’ Saving energy is kind to your wallet and ultimately can be good for the planet, so here are some top tips on how you can save some precious extra cash while working from home.

Check
If you were commuting to work before the move to working from home, you may be saving money by not having to travel into the office every day. But you don’t want all of those savings to be eaten away by increased energy bills, so it’s definitely worth checking if you’re getting the best deal on your household bills.

Thankfully, it’s really quick and easy to check. We’re big fans of Martin Lewis and his Money Saving Expert website. On the site you can compare the best deals, and there’s also their Cheap Energy Club which gives you the option to “automatically compare and switch” tariffs based on what you’re looking for. Citizen’s Advice also have a similar comparison tool which you can use here.

As well as comparing the best deals around, it’s also worth checking whether you’re entitled to any support, grants or discounts. Every little bit of help can go a long way, so take a look here to see whether you’re eligible.

Switch
If you’ve found a better deal than the one you’re currently on, great! Switching supplier is really simple and you can usually do it all online. I switched energy supplier just before Christmas and have promised myself I’ll put the money I’m saving into a separate bank account to put towards something nice when restrictions are eased, because I think we need a treat at the end of all this, right?

Save
As well as saving your hard-earned cash, saving energy is also good for the planet. Using less energy in your home can reduce your carbon footprint as well as reducing bills, so everyone wins! Speaking of winning, here are some quick wins to help you bring down the cost of your energy bills:

  • Keep cool – dropping your thermostat down by one degree could save you £60 a year!
  • Draught-proofing your windows and doors can save £25.
  • Switch on to energy-efficient LED bulbs and you could save about £40 a year.

Check out the Big Energy Saving website for more tips on how to save. There are also Government schemes, like the Green Homes Grant, to help you with the cost of making your home more energy efficient. Check out the Government website for details of what’s available where you are and let the saving start!

Dry January – swap your cocktails for mocktails!

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It’s safe to say things are tough at the moment, and the thought of giving up one of life’s small pleasures for the whole of January might feel like the last thing you want to do right now. But taking part in Dry January is a great way to rest and reset your body and mind.

According to Alcohol Change and the Royal Free Hospital, there are lots of benefits of giving up alcohol for a month:

  • 70% of people reported better sleeping habits.
  • It can reduce blood pressure.
  • Giving up alcohol for 30 days can lower cholesterol.
  • 86% of people participating saved money over the month.

If you’re participating in Dry January 2021, but stuck for ideas when it comes to choosing a Friday night tipple, why not try one of our five favourite alcohol-free recipes?

While the evenings are dark and cold, sometimes there’s nothing nicer than curling up on the sofa with a cup of tea. As an alternative, why not try this warming Chai tea recipe?

Not everyone loves a cocktail (or wants a cup of tea in the evening!), so luckily, alcohol free beers, spirits and wine are now widely available if you still fancy the taste of your favourite drink, without the alcohol.

Giving up alcohol for the month isn’t easy, especially given the current climate, but by taking part in Dry January you’re being kind to your body and mind.

If you’re already taking part, let us know how you’re getting on? What’s your alcohol-free drink of choice? We’d love to hear in the comments below!

Surviving Black Friday

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It’s been a challenging year, and many mental health experts recommend trying to get our little fixes of happiness wherever we can. But is Black Friday shopping a good way to do this? We look at some of the pros and cons in our survival guide below.

Black Friday was originally an American post-Thanksgiving sales event, but has recently become more globally recognised thanks in no small part to extensive marketing by companies like Amazon and other US retailers. Maybe, like me though, you’re thinking 2020 is a chance to take a step back and reset our thinking about the frantic annual battle for a bargain.

Small businesses in a big pond
This year, with so many small businesses feeling the squeeze because of the impact of COVID-19, now more than ever they could do with our support. The British Independent Retailers Association (Bira) has encouraged us to consider shopping with small businesses whenever we can.

In an article by the Guardian, Andrew Goodacre, Bira’s Chief Executive, added, “Despite the lure of the internet, nothing can beat the positive experience of buying from a local independent retailer knowing that money spent in a local shop will in turn be spent in the local economy. Independent retailers are part of the community and need the support of shoppers now more than ever.”

And just because some retailers are a little smaller, doesn’t mean they won’t have their own offers and incentives running on Black Friday, so check them out before you hand over your hard-earned cash to the retail giants.

Is it really a bargain?
£400 off. Half price. Was £600, now only £200. Retailers advertise price cuts like these on Black Friday, but are they really the bargains they make them out to be? There have been numerous news stories over the last few years about shoppers getting a bit of a shock when they’ve price-checked those big purchases only to find out the savings weren’t quite what they were expecting.

It pays to shop around and compare prices across a good range of different websites or shops. Consumer advice website Which? recommends taking this a step further and using apps like Pricerunner and PriceSpy to check the previous price and the real savings you’re making. Which? tracked the prices of a number of products in the lead up to Black Friday in 2018 and found that deals and savings offered were actually available for the same price or even cheaper in the six months after the sales!

Sleep on it
You often get a little burst of serotonin as you buy something. This coupled with fear of missing out can lead us to make impulse buys we don’t need, particularly on Black Friday. In fact, some retailers count on it!

To avoid ending up with a bag full of guilty purchases, you could put things in your online shopping basket and then come back to them later. Leaving items in there for a day or two will give you time to reflect on whether you really need that £200 drone or another pair of earrings…

Black Friday can be a great opportunity to bag yourself a bargain and make some great savings, especially on big ticket items. But make sure you know what you’re buying and whether it really is a bargain. Share your tips with us so we can all aim not to be left with buyer’s regret come December.

Stress doesn’t isolate during a pandemic

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The temperature is dropping, the nights are drawing darker and winter is on its way. The clocks going back at least gives us an extra hour in bed, yet many just want this year to be over.

“Almost one in five adults were likely to be experiencing some form of depression during the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic in June 2020” just one of many distressing facts from the Office for National Statistics regarding mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic. 

The statistics go on to highlight that “Feeling stressed or anxious was the most common way adults experiencing some form of depression felt their well-being was being affected.”

Stress is common place in life, whether it’s small doses motivating you to reach your goals, or it’s become overwhelming and potentially harmful to your wellbeing.

In any normal year dealing with stress can be, well… stressful. It speaks volumes that there is a week dedicated to helping us handle stress.  2020, however, is no normal year.  This is a year where we made the home our office, acted as substitute teachers to our children and had to endure seeing our loved ones through windows and screens. 

How are we meant to cope with stress during a time when each day is more unpredictable than the last?  Take a look at my tips to help you keep on top of stress during the pandemic:

Keep active

Exercise can be a great way of not only keeping your body active, but also your mind.

That doesn’t mean you need to spend hours in the gym or running marathons, but your mind will also benefit if you can set aside some time every day for some form of physical activity. 

A high octane workout not your thing? Maybe some yoga, meditation or simply a walk – all of these can help relieve stress.

Sing

Hear me out on this one (not literally as singing isn’t my forte) – singing, or listening to music has been known to greatly relieve stress.

Think of all the times you’ve had a song stuck in your head, it’s pretty difficult to think of anything else!

Even if it’s only for a couple of minutes a day, relax, pop some music on and maybe even have a singalong.  Can anyone really stay stressed singing along with the Backstreet Boys?

Take a break

The boundary between your work and home life is probably a bit blurred at the moment, so it’s important to make sure work doesn’t take over. Take the same breaks from work as you would if you were in the office.

Just five minutes away from your desk to stretch your legs and step outside can work wonders.

Connect with people

Keeping in touch with the people we love is important for our mental wellbeing. With lockdown, self-isolating and many other new rules put in place, it only seems fitting that the most streamed song of 2020 starts with the lyrics “I been on my own for long enough” as I’m sure that’s how many of us are feeling. 

While we can’t all meet face to face, we have many other ways of keeping in touch right at our fingertips – pick up the phone, send a quick text or maybe even go live on webcam.  We don’t need to feel alone and keeping in touch regularly with friends, family and colleagues can help ease feeling of isolation and loneliness. 

Who knows, you could even make ‘webcam Wednesday’ a thing!

Challenge yourself

Are you up for a challenge? Maybe there’s something you’ve always wanted to do but have never got around to, like learning a new language, an instrument or maybe finally putting together that 40,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. 

Taking up a new challenge can help you focus on something else. I personally completed my first half marathon in lockdown and even though the race was virtual, my sense of achievement was not.

Look after yourself

At times like these, it can be easy to take up a few unhealthy habits.  Excessive drinking or smoking might provide temporary relief but they will only enhance your stress levels in the long run.

Try to maintain a healthy, balanced diet, make sure you drink enough water and get plenty of sleep. 

Talk about it

Pandemics aren’t something we’re used to dealing with, so it’s normal to feel stressed.

Talking to others about how you feel can be beneficial for you and maybe them as well. Whether it’s a friend, work colleague, family member or a professional, having someone to talk to can help you to feel less stressed about it all.

You can find information on the NHS website if you feel you need some extra support.