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Hi anxiety

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Hi anxiety,

it’s been a while.

I’ve been working on myself,

so you don’t cramp my style.

 

I have no bad feelings

because we were never really friends.

Just two strangers who ran into each other,

every now and again.

 

You made my palms sweat

and my heart beat fast,

but I’ve been seeking help

so now that’s in the past.

 

Like a thick black cloud

on a gloriously sunny day,

you showed up uninvited

but I knew you wouldn’t stay.

 

On the train or in crowded places

you’d whisper in my ear:

‘this is all too much’

and fill my heart with fear.

 

It gives me peace of mind

to know I’m not alone.

And you’re just a sensation,

I can successfully disown.

 

Lately I’ve been scrolling less

and treating myself more,

so when I see your ugly face

I know I’ve beaten you before.

 

I no longer cancel plans

or put my life on hold.

Missing out on things

until I’m grey and old.

 

One trick I’ve learned

to make you go away,

is to play uplifting music

and dabble in some crochet.

 

I have new friends these days

called Calmness and Serenity.

We hang out often,

they bring out the best in me.

 

This year’s Mental Health Awareness Week theme is Anxiety which inspired this poem written by one of our DrumRoll Copywriters Melissa Edwards. The poem was also inspired by the song ‘Bye Bye’ by Jeremy Passion.

Three books to read this spring

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Despite book shops being closed in the UK, Publishers Association recorded a 16% rise in the sale of fiction books during the pandemic. While we were locked inside, seemingly more and more of us were turning to our trusty hardbacks as a form of escapism.

On the back of World Book Day on Thursday 2 March 2023, I wanted to share three fiction novels I read during the pandemic which left a lasting impression on me. All are from my Reader’s Digest collection and available to purchase online. I inherited my collection from my Great Uncle Sydney, who happened to be a poet – maybe this explains my love for each novel.

  1. Voices of Summer by Diane Pearson

Set in Vienna, this brilliantly written story follows a former theatre star who retakes the stage (after many years away from the limelight) alongside a merciless tenor. The author draws on her musical background to create real stage presence and constructs a world full of charming characters, including the enchanting Willi Zimmerman. You don’t have to be a theatre lover to enjoy this book and, if you’re anything like me, you’ll likely be wanting to book a trip to Austria by the time you reach its final pages!

  1. The Old House at Railes by Mary E. Pearce

A story set in Gloucestershire where the son of a stonemason receives a first-class education from a wealthy local family. The reader goes on a real journey with the lead character Martin as, despite the novel’s twists and turns, he remains remarkably resilient and manages to build a compelling reputation for himself in the local community. Without revealing the plot, this book taught me about the fragility of life and the importance of doing the right thing. I particularly enjoyed reading the letters Martin writes so eloquently (and I’ve since turned to these as a source of inspiration!).

  1. To Fly a Kite by Elizabeth Webster

This one is a little trickier to get hold of online but is up there with my all-time favourites. A wonderful tale about a young woman’s plight to rescue a former concert pianist from despair back to good health. A book about the power of healing that moved me to tears (in a good way), taught me what true love is and made me appreciate the small things in life. I loved the vivid imagery scattered throughout this novel, including the poignant kite scene at the end. I also appreciated how the author drew on her personal experience of teaching special needs children to depict such a beautiful story.

Woman packing up boxes with tape

Feeling boxed in?

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Have you noticed that having clutter around your house or even in your car can make you feel edgy, overwhelmed and burdened? That it can also make your mind feel busy and confused? that decluttering your space can reduce stress and anxiety and in turn declutter your mind to make room for clarity and calm.

Less stress

When you remove items or put them away, your body produces less cortisol (the stress hormone), which in turn helps you feel more like yourself – stable, clearheaded and relaxed.

Less anxiety

Creating order helps to relieve anxiety. When things are a mess it can make you feel scattered and hassled, but a clean, tidy environment can make you feel calmer.

More confidence

Another added benefit of decluttering is the feeling of accomplishment that comes with it. It can help you feel more in control because organising and cleaning up requires problem solving and decision-making skills on your part. It also forces you to address unresolved decisions so you’re no longer dragging them around in the back of your mind.

But I’m a hoarder…what can I do?

Try the box technique

(This exercise does require some space for storage).

First you need four boxes (or several sets of four if you have lots of stuff), sticky labels and a pen. Write out four labels for the boxes; storage, donate, bin and keep. Make sure the boxes are clearly labelled so you don’t accidentally mix them up.

The storage box

Items you can’t part with but don’t need on a regular basis – like seasonal clothing or a sentimental keep sake, for example.

The donate/sell box

Items you no longer use and you’re happy to give up. These should be in good condition for others to use. If they’re not, bin them.

The bin box

This one’s pretty obvious. If the item can’t be donated, it’s broken or in poor condition, it goes in here.

The keep box

Items you want to keep and need close to hand because you use them regularly – stuff that just needs to be put away in a proper spot. Or if you have space, find a dedicated draw or cupboard space for them.

Decisions, decisions

The hard part is in the decision making. Below are some questions to consider as you sort your items:

  1. How often do I use it?
  2. Does it have a space in my home?
  3. Do I have sentimental attachment to it?
  4. If I didn’t own this item or the house burned down tomorrow, would I miss it/buy a new one to replace it?
  5. I can’t part with this item now, but am I willing to consider it again in six months’ time? If yes, create a separate ‘keep for six months’ box.

Once the boxes are full, take action immediately! Donate the donate items, bin the bin box, store the storage box and put the keep box somewhere handy. Then start again with the next set of boxes. If you have a lot of boxes to fill, it can be helpful to number your storage boxes and keep a central list of what’s in each so you can easily find things when you need them.

But shouldn’t I keep the things I love?

This is tough, but not if you’re left with a crowded house that’s having a negative impact on you. It’s a good idea to try and identify your motivation behind keeping the item. Ask yourself – Why do I feel the need to keep it? Is it because I love it? Does it have good memories attached to it? If I let it go, am I worried the person who gave it to me would think badly of me? Do I just want it just so no one else can have it? Food for thought…

Have fun with this. You really will feel better once you start filling those boxes!

 

Today I get to workout

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Today I have to get to workout

There’s no better time than New Year when it comes to making changes and self-improvement, right?

After the excesses of Christmas, many of us look to exercise to kick start a new health-conscious regime. And while the gym can be a great form of self-care, for some the idea of actually going can be quite daunting.

I see a lot of negativity on social media when it comes to the gym – people being made to feel unwelcome or concerned they’ll go viral if they do an exercise wrong. As someone who regularly goes to the gym (dare I say even enjoys it!) I understand the worry, but it’s worth bearing in mind this in no way reflects the gym community as a whole. Most of us are really supportive and encouraging!

So, if you’re about to embark on a ‘New Year, New Me’ resolution over the next few months, here are a few of my personal tips to help you navigate the gym.

Find your feet

Whether it’s day one or day 100, take a few minutes to familiarise yourself with your surroundings. Think of it like your first day in a new office, but instead of finding the coffee machine you’ll want to know where the water fountain or kettlebells are. By scoping it out, you’ll know exactly where to go for your next exercise.

Work out a plan 

Whatever your goals, a plan is vital. It’s why you’re going to the gym today. Some plans might be simple, but others (a Push, Pull, Legs split for example), need a bit more research and you might not know where to start. If you’re looking for something free, why not try an app like MyFitnessPal. It won’t create your workout but does give you a range of exercises to choose from so you can build your own and you can even save it in the app. For something more bespoke a personal trainer can create a plan for you, but this likely comes at a cost.

So whether you‘ve written it in your notepad, saved it on your phone, have it memorised or your trainer does, what’s the plan?

 

If you don’t know, ask 

Now you’ve got a plan, you’re ready to go. But just as you’re about to start your next exercise, you can’t remember the difference between Romanian and sumo deadlifts. No problem, just ask for help. If you don’t fancy asking someone or there’s no one around, just ask your phone. YouTube can be your best friend when it comes to exercise and is a useful tool for improving your technique. Remember, asking for help in any form isn’t a weakness.

 

Don’t sweat it

While we’re on the subject of phones, you can’t go far without seeing someone recording on theirs and the gym is no exception. But remember, most people are in the gym for the same reason you are – to workout. While there’s no guarantee you won’t end up in the background of someone’s video, my best advice is don’t sweat it and keep doing you!

 

Pump up the jam

Pump it up, while your feet are stompin’… Okay, that’s quite enough of that, but the point stands. Having a great playlist can motivate you to get your workout started, make it more enjoyable and might even be the difference between achieving a new personal best or falling just short. My playlist is a combination of heavy rock, dance, hip-hop and even some Greatest Showman for when the moment’s right (the moment is always right!).

Music not your thing? Why not try a podcast or audio book instead? Anything which gets you in the zone to help reach your goals.

 

The gym is a great place for you mind and body, it’s a place to focus on you. So next time you’re struggling for motivation remember, a workout isn’t always about building muscle or health, it’s also therapy. Go get yours.

 

How walking 1,000 miles can change your life

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As I sat on top of Pen Y Fan and poured myself a tea from my flask, I took in the Welsh countryside spread out around me and thought to myself ‘I can’t remember a time when I felt so free.’

This feeling of freedom isn’t something that comes easily to me. Having lived with OCD and Generalised Anxiety Disorder the whole of my adult life, my brain and body are used to living in a tightly controlled state of being. My anxiety was made even worse during the Covid-19 pandemic and I’m not surprised to find that according to Mind, 65% of adults with mental health problems have said it’s got worse since the first national lockdown.

Before the pandemic, I’d learned to live with my mental health condition fairly well and although it still affected me, it didn’t stop me living my life. But once the first lockdown hit and we were being told we had to stay inside, things started to go downhill. OCD makes me feel incredibly out of control and living through an unprecedented situation where no one had any form of control was terrifying. I tried desperately to keep control of as many things as I could and saw it as my ‘duty’ to keep me and my husband safe from the germs and contamination all around us.

I washed and sanitised my hands constantly, scrubbed every surface with bleach and washed and Dettol-wiped everything that came into the house. I couldn’t hug or be near anyone which meant even going for a walk became impossible as I struggled to find routes where I could guarantee I wouldn’t see people. Life became closed in and I became increasingly more anxious and withdrawn.

Fast forward to the end of 2021 and a world ever so slowly returning to some form of normality. Throughout 2020 and 2021 I’d started taking medication and gone to therapy sessions to help me cope with the way I was feeling and as a result, I’d started to take my first tentative steps back into ‘normal life’. It was at this time I came across Country Walking Magazine’s walk 1,000 miles challenge and decided 2022 was the year I’d walk 1,000 miles.

Walking those 1,000 miles has been emotional, exhilarating and life changing. It’s taught me a few things along the way too:

  • Blisters are my new best friend (well they’re not but I’ve had to learn to live with them!).
  • Walking 36 miles in a day will break you. Back in May I walked from Corfe Castle to Weymouth along the Jurassic coast and whilst it was incredibly rewarding, it took me 15 hours and afterwards I couldn’t move for the next 2 days!
  • Rest days are just as important as walking days.
  • The UK is stunningly beautiful and there are so many amazing places to discover.
  • Getting lost is ridiculously easy but it does add on a few extra miles.
  • Life is for living.
  • OCD and anxiety no longer rule my life.

I have a new joy for life I never thought possible – I look forward to getting outside and feel like I’ve got my independence and my life back. While I might not walk 1,000 miles in 2023, walking has become a key part of my daily routine and is something I’ll always prioritise for my mental health.

‘Walking: the most ancient exercise and still the best modern exercise.’ – Carrie Latet

Hot letters – mastering your emotions…

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The internet is flooded with posts talking about the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction – who hasn’t been bombarded with ‘positive vibes only’ posts? But it’s not a new thing – even going back to the year 300 BC the Stoics touted the benefits of managing your emotions and the discipline of perception. And there’s nothing wrong with this, unless like me, you unwittingly supress your emotions.

And we often don’t realise we’re doing it. For example, I have a disagreement with someone, and in the moment I feel a flood of anger, but also know the futility of arguing, so I look for a different solution, a compromise or perhaps I just walk away from it. In my rational mind I know this is a more enlightened way to behave, arguing solves nothing, and besides we’re probably both right to some degree…

Putting your emotions in a box won’t solve anything
That’s where some people leave it, they move on and think about something else. But this can come back to bite you…it can leave you in a rather uncomfortable place days or sometimes months later when you notice you’re a bit down, feel like crying or you absolutely lose it with someone over something relatively minor and have no idea why.

Well, it turns out that’s a build-up of suppressed emotions. Suppressing your emotions means you’re literally putting them in a box over there and importantly, not acknowledging how you feel – that uncomfortable sensation of anger, annoyance, or injustice, for example. After a while of doing this, you eventually run out of room to push any more emotions down and finally they erupt to the surface. Most people also fail to connect this eruption to the earlier, incremental incidents of emotional stockpiling.

The true meaning of stoicisim
The Stoics understood the power of not reacting to knee-jerk emotions (usually the first angry or negative emotions evoked by a situation) but focused on building the fortitude to wade through an unpleasant emotion instead. This included reframing or telling a different story about incidents to lessen their emotional impact. But to truly achieve letting go of a knee-jerk emotion you have to feel it first then, and only then, can you let it go. Miss out this important step and you’ve put an emotion in a box.

No need to send the ‘hot letter’
It’s well known that whenever Abraham Lincoln was angry with someone, he’d write a ‘hot letter’ telling them exactly what he thought of them…which he would then never send. He’d put it to one side and let his emotions cool. Writing the letter allowed him to vent his knee-jerk emotions in the moment and he was then able to consider the situation from a more balanced standpoint later on.

If you want to give writing an ‘hot letter’ a go, here are some emotive statements to help get you started:

  • I feel furious when/about…
  • I hate it when…
  • You are a complete and utter…
  • I feel sad when…

Time alone doesn’t have to be lonely

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If there are any positives we can take from the pandemic and subsequent lockdowns, I feel our renewed focus on mental health is one.

During the pandemic we were faced with many and varied mental health challenges. As we all tried to adapt and get through it in our own ways, one issue cropped up for many of us, particularly those living alone – loneliness.

A waste of time?
Spending time on your own might not sound like any kind of hardship, and given the other challenges people were facing, it probably wasn’t. But in a world where we can seem to place such value on #squadgoals and photos with friends on Instagram, how can we reframe time spent on our own as time well spent, rather than time wasted?

I’ve always been quite sociable and enjoy spending time with people, which is probably why I associated time on my own as time wasted. So when the pandemic hit I was worried how I’d cope. Spending a lot of time on my own was now a reality I couldn’t avoid.

Some of the difficulties others faced during the pandemic really put my worries into perspective. Although I struggled with loneliness, I knew I was still in a very fortunate position as I didn’t have to juggle home schooling or caring responsibilities on top of a full time job. In her book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, author and psychotherapist Amy Morin explains how time alone can actually help you build empathy and spark creativity. Reframing time on your own and thinking of it as a gift really helped me shift my mindset to embrace the privilege of alone time.

What can we do?
We all need social contact, but time alone doesn’t have to be lonely. I mean, even Bill Gates takes a couple of weeks each year to be on his own, switch off from technology, and refocus. Thinking of alone time differently and embracing it to do things just for you can be a game changer! Whether it’s doing something as simple as having a nice bath, making some good food, or something bigger like going to see a show or a film you fancy, take some proper time just for you. There are loads of things we can do to enjoy these times and invest in ourselves.

I found making a list of priorities and what I’d do if I could do anything really helped me. Thinking about how you can achieve those things and doing something about it can be a really productive use of time too. I’m not going to pretend I did this all the time… I spent plenty of time listening to tunes and watching football, but I don’t dread not having plans with other people now.

Time alone won’t, and shouldn’t, replace time with family and friends, but I’ve found trying to shift my mindset to see time on my own as a luxury has really helped me make the most of those moments. Let us know what you do to make the most of your time on your own.

If you go down to the (Hundred Acre) woods today

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National Winnie the Pooh day, a day to celebrate A.A Milne’s famous literary creation Winnie the Pooh – not forgetting Christopher Robin and his other friends of course.

“Silly old bear”
I grew up with Winnie the Pooh. From reading the books to watching the films and playing Poohsticks, I still hold a soft spot for him and his pals. I’ve even had the pleasure of meeting him a couple of times. Despite this ongoing endearment for the silly old bear, I confess to not knowing there was a day dedicated to my favourite bear until recently.

While I’ll still celebrate his legacy, I’ve long wondered if there’s actually a deeper meaning to these seemingly innocent characters.

“Oh, bother”
Pathology in the hundred acre wood: a neurodevelopmental perspective on A.A. Milne is a study carried out by Dr. Sarah E. Shea, where she looks further into this theory. Although tongue in cheek, the report highlights some interesting points about each character which many would find relatable today.

“Somewhere at the top of the Hundred Acre Wood a little boy and his bear play. On the surface it is an innocent world, but on closer examination by our group of experts we find a forest where neurodevelopmental and psychosocial problems go unrecognized and untreated” – the study rather darkly reports. Is it troubling to think these characters are (predominantly) aimed at children, or enlightening these issues were highlighted so openly in 1926?

Do these characters in fact help raise the very real need for support and awareness of our own mental wellbeing, as well as those around us? Given they’re so deeply embedded in our culture in a positive way, perhaps they could they help end the stigma of mental health.

“Oh, d-d-dear”
What I feel is made apparent by Pooh and pals is that mental health issues are not obvious and even those you feel are least likely to be affected can be struggling.

According to the study, our main protagonist, Winnie, could easily be diagnosed with ADHD, OCD or binge eating. His sidekick, Piglet, severe anxiety, Eeyore, chronic depression and Tigger, ADHD.

“Thanks for noticin’ me”
With an ongoing pandemic, mental health issues have been on the rise and it’s great to escape to somewhere like the Hundred Acre wood every now and again. What we need to be wary of is whether someone is getting a bit lost while they’re there.

We can learn many lessons from Winnie and the gang, but I feel one of the most important is that sometimes just being there is enough.

So next time you’re celebrating the legacy of Winnie the Pooh, take some time to check in with yourself, a friend or a family member. Although everything might appear sunny in the Hundred Acre Wood, we all have dark days and mental health issues can easily be missed if we don’t pay close enough attention.

“TTFN! Ta-ta for now!”
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
“Pooh!” he whispered.
“Yes, Piglet?”
“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”

A.A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner

How not to panic through a pandemic and other things my mental health has taught me…

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When was the last time you had an anxious thought, a squirmy feeling in your tummy, or a complete lack of interest in doing things? Yesterday? Maybe last week? For most of us we experience these common, uncomfortable feelings regularly, but they usually pass pretty quickly.

 

However, if you’re one of the 1 in 4 people in England who experience or live with a mental health problem, you’re probably only too familiar with these feelings and understand the toll mental health problems can have on your wellbeing. It’s not just anxiety; mental health issues can take many forms, from depression to psychotic disorders. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and World Mental Health day is a great opportunity for us all to start talking openly about our own mental health.

 

My name is Rachel and I’m one of the 1 in 100 people living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). For years I hid my disorder because I was ashamed and afraid of being judged. OCD is a mental health condition often misunderstood as a love of organisation, when in reality sufferers experience frequent intrusive and unwelcome obsessional thoughts (OCDUK).

 

The Coronavirus pandemic has been challenging for us all, but throw in OCD and it’s added a whole extra set of complications for me. While many of us feel like we’re coming back to life after many months of lockdowns, I’m struggling (like so many others) with the idea of ‘the new normal’ and going back to the life I lead before.

 

It’s taken me a long time, but I’m slowly getting back to my ‘normal’ with the help of medication and a therapist. While this journey I’m on has been tough, I’ve learnt a lot of things along the way:

 

  • It’s ok not to be ok: If you’re struggling, reaching out to your friends and family can help take some of the burden away. Sometimes it’s easier to talk things through with someone you don’t know – organisations such as Mind, OCD UK and Samaritans gave me some practical ways to look after my mental health.
  • If it feels scary, it’s probably good for you: Having OCD means I overestimate threat, often catastrophizing to the worst possible scenario. In the past it’s been all too easy to stay in my house where I feel safe, but by pushing myself to do the scary things (going for a walk, to the shops or to visit a friend) it makes each experience easier and quietens the fear monster in my brain.
  • Slow and steady wins the race: Sometimes when you’re on the recovery journey you can fall into the trap of either not doing anything, or doing too much! I’ve found tackling one scary thing at a time gives me the best rates of success but I’m also mindful that sometimes a quiet day on the sofa is exactly what my mental health needs.
  • Speak up: In the past, I haven’t told people when I’m uncomfortable or struggling with a situation. The pandemic has forced me to be honest when I’m having a hard time – with myself and with others. Being open about my struggles has helped my family, friends and colleagues understand why I might be acting ‘strangely’ so they can help me through those tough situations. It also takes away the stigma and makes conversations about mental health easier.
  • Be kind to yourself: Probably the most important thing I’ve learnt is to be kind to myself. We’re living in unprecedented times and it’s ok to find things hard sometimes.

 

Focusing on the people and things that bring me joy and comfort has allowed me to push forward with my life, one small step at a time. The pandemic might not be over yet, but for me, life is starting to feel sunny again.

 

If you’re struggling with your mental health or you’re affected by any of the issues I’ve talked about in this blog, you can call Samaritans on: 116 123 or visit their website: www.samaritans.org/

Two people talking

The Big Listen

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As restrictions begin to lift across the UK and we edge back towards normality, it’s tempting to try to do everything all at once. We might feel the need to make up for lost time. We might even feel pressured into throwing ourselves back into socialising, shopping (in actual shops), mixing with other people we don’t know, just because everyone else seems to be embracing our newly regained freedom… It might make some of us feel completely overwhelmed where others are just a bit anxious about the thought of getting back to ‘normal’… whatever that is.

However we feel, it’s good to remind ourselves that we’re not alone.

There’s loads of support available if you find these feelings start to impact your mental health. From blogs and advice from the Mental Health Foundation, to podcasts and support with stress from Headspace.

On Saturday 24 July Samaritans are running their annual Big Listen campaign to remind us they’re here for all of us. Whenever we need them. 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can follow all their activity on Big Listen day across their social media feeds – @samaritanscharity on Instagram and Facebook, and @samaritans on Twitter. Or you can check out their website for details of events taking place in your local area.

Opening up to talk about how we’re feeling can be daunting, but it can have amazing benefits too. Samaritans believe in the life-saving power of conversation – take a look at their Small Talk Saves Lives video.

If you’d like to volunteer for Samaritans checkout their website. And if you need support you can call Samaritans on 116 123 – calls are free and lines are always open.

Normalising and using gender pronouns correctly

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Article written by BLUP50 talent Charlie Greening.

This June is pride month for the LGBTQIA+ community. During this month it is more important than ever that everyone within that community and ally’s of it show their respect, support and understanding of the difficult issues those in the community face.

I am a pansexual and gender-neutral person myself. I have been in relationships with beautiful people of all genders and sexual preferences. So, I thought I’d give you a little insight as to what is important for the LGBTQIA+ community right now and what you can do to show support. I am going to be covering the topic of gender pronouns. You might read this and already be tensing your muscles in a confused panic, especially if you are a heterosexual cis-gendered person. Not to worry, I understand that there is some doubt around this topic as people commonly fear causing offence or think that it is too complex of a topic to get their head around. I am here to explain to you what it means to be non-binary or gender-neutral, how to be respectful and supportive, and why it is important that you state your preferred pronouns, especially if you are cis-gendered!

WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT
Non-binary / gender queer people use gender neutral pronouns. Some people don’t fit into categories of ‘male’ or ‘female’. Some people have a gender that blends elements of being a man, a woman or have a gender that is different than either ‘male’ or ‘female’. Some people don’t identify with any gender and some people’s gender changes over time. Some society’s, like ours in the UK, tend to recognise just two genders. The idea that there is only two genders is sometimes called a ‘gender binary’ because the word binary means ‘having two parts’. Therefore, ‘non-binary’ is a term people use to describe a gender that doesn’t fall into one of these two.

SOME THINGS IMPORTANT TO KNOW
Non-binary is nothing new! Non-binary people are not confused about gender or ‘following a fad’. Non-binary identities have been recognised for a millennia by cultures and societies all around the world. In some cultures, gods have been depicted as genderless or gender-fluid for thousands of years. Not all people undergo medical procedures, but for some it is critical and even life saving! Most transgendered people are not non-binary. These people often identify as either ‘male’ or ‘female’ and want to be treated like any other cis-gendered person, so should be! Being non-binary is not the same as being intersex. Intersex people have different anatomy or genes that don’t fall into typical ‘male’ or ‘female’ biology.

HOW TO BE RESPECTFUL
You don’t have to completely understand in order to be respectful. However, it is important to educate yourself as much as you can. Always use the preferred name a person asks you to use. Try not to make any assumptions about a persons gender, If you are unsure you should ask. Advocate for policies that are inclusive to non-binary or gender-neutral people in public spaces. Something as simple as going to the bathroom can be very difficult for a these people due to fear of being verbally or physically assaulted.

WHY YOU SHOULD STATE YOUR PRONOUNS
You can now add your preferred pronouns to Instagram, and I highly encourage you to do so! Even if you feel as though you don’t really need to. The more people that do, the more we can normalise this behaviour and make the process of sharing and accepting pronouns better for all of us. The University of North Carolina wrote: “Normalising and using correct pronouns leads to acceptance and de-stigmatisation of individuals who ‘deviate’ from traditionally used pronouns or pronouns that do not align with their physical appearance or gender-based name. By stating one’s pronouns the need for explanation is eliminated”. Including pronouns on your social media profiles, in email sign offs and when you introduce yourself to someone is a small step that cis-gender people can – and should – be making.

WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT
The Trevor Project’s 2020 National Survey on LGBTQIA+ Youth’s Mental Health found that a heart-breaking fifty two per cent of trans and non-binary youth have seriously considered death by suicide. Those who reported having their personal pronouns respected by all or most people in their lives attempted suicide at half the rate of those who didn’t have their pronouns respected. It is evident there is more to be done in normalising pronouns and it is vital that it comes from cis-gendered people! This is because cis-gendered people have a privilege that allows the opportunity to work to normalise without the risks that trans, non-binary and gender-neutral people face. It is essential that they use this privilege to cultivate an environment where trans and non-binary people don’t feel alienated!

Article written by BLUP50 talent Charlie Greening (She / They) (@chazzabel)

Conversion therapy – when will it end?

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conversion therapy
/kənˈvəːʃ(ə)n/ /ˈθɛrəpi/

  1. the practice of trying to change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity

You’d be forgiven for thinking anything labelled as ‘therapy’ is a positive experience resulting in long-term benefits to your mental and physical wellbeing. But when that therapy involves trying to persuade a person to live as something they’re not, there’s really nothing therapeutic, medically endorsed, beneficial or healing about it. It is, in fact, the antithesis of all these things, often causing serious mental and physical harm to those who undergo it.

What does conversion therapy involve?
Sometimes also called ‘gay cure therapy’, the practice can involve talking therapies, prayer, physical harm, exorcism, being deprived of food and ‘corrective’ rape (mercifully already illegal). Essentially, it means trying to stop a person from being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, persuade them to suppress their sexuality or change their mind about living as a different gender to the one they were assigned at birth.

NHS England and other organisations have made their stance clear on these ‘unethical and potentially harmful’ therapies and with mounting pressure on the government to address the issue, some small steps in the right direction have been made this year.

Sounds horrendous, so when will it be banned?
Back in 2018, Penny Mordaunt (Minister for Women and Equalities) published her LGBT Action Plan 2018: Improving the lives of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender people under Theresa May’s government. Along with taking more action on hate crime and appointing a LGBT health adviser the promise was to ‘bring forward proposals to end the practice of conversion therapy in the UK’.

Fast forward to summer 2020 and Boris Johnson also promised to progress plans banning conversion therapy. Adamant the practice is “absolutely abhorrent and has no place in a civilised society, and has no place in this country”, he went on to say the government would conduct a study to find out how, where and how frequently it’s happening before implementing legislative change to outlaw it.

Skip forward again to the Queen’s speech in May this year and yet another public pledge to progress a ban… but the law still won’t be changed until a public consultation goes ahead first.

How long will the consultation take before real change is made?
Well, looking at the pattern of delay over the past few years, it might be easier to ask how long the proverbial piece of string is… On a more positive note though, the very fact that government has conversion therapy on their agenda and has pledged to eradicate it is progress and for now, gives the LGBTQ+ community a glimmer of hope.

What can you do?
There’s lot more information out there so take some time to read up – Stonewall and Gay Times always cover issues impacting the queer community. You can also add your voice to the calls for a complete ban by petitioning your local MP – head to the Ban Conversion Therapy website and use the search function to get started.