World Book Day

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Navigating World Book Day with a Reluctant Reader: A Parent’s Dilemma

As World Book Day approaches, the excitement in our household is palpable. However, for parents of children with reading difficulties, like my 7-year-old, the anticipation is laced with a tinge of anxiety. The pressure to find the perfect (any) book character costume becomes a daunting task when the reading level isn’t quite there.

My child, who is still struggling with reading, faces a unique challenge in selecting a character that resonates with them. While their peers dive into enchanting novels, my little one finds solace in the visual world of TV! (particularly watching Minecraft) rather than the written one.

As a mum, I’ve discovered that the key to making World Book Day enjoyable lies in embracing creativity beyond the pages. This year, we’ve chosen a character from Minecraft that captures their imagination. It’s a reminder that World Book Day is about celebrating the joy of storytelling in all its forms, irrespective of reading proficiency. As parents, we can redefine the narrative and emphasise the love for stories in our own unique ways, making World Book Day a memorable experience for every child, regardless of their reading journey.

A festive feast: A culinary adventure with healthy Christmas alternatives

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‘Tis the season for indulgence, but this Christmas, I’d like to share my culinary adventure to explore some healthier alternatives to the traditional festive feast. From the main course to delicious desserts, we’ll delve into a world of flavours, which are not only very tasty but also keep my commitment to a healthier lifestyle.

Deck the halls with veggie delights: The main course.

  1. Roasted butternut squash: The vibrant colour of a roasted butternut squash is really eye catching. Filled with a delicious mix of quinoa, cranberries, and pecans, each bite has a burst of nutty sweetness. The combination is so satisfying you won’t miss the usual heavy roast at all. Clocking in at approximately 300 calories per serving, it’s a guilt-free indulgence that will leave you feeling festive and well-nourished.
  2. Orange-glazed tofurky: This orange-glazed ‘tofurky’ will take centre stage. Marinated in a zesty citrus blend and roasted to perfection; it offers a delightful alternative to the traditional turkey. Paired with roasted vegetables, this vegan masterpiece brings a refreshing tang to the table and weighs in at around 250 calories per serving. A true crowd pleaser!
  3. Whole baked cauliflower show stopper: A whole baked cauliflower, adorned with aromatic herbs and spices, is definitely a showstopper. So visually stunning, its Instagram-worthy. The cauliflower delivers on both appearance and taste. Roasted to a golden perfection, it offers a satisfying texture with every forkful, and at just around 150 calories per serving, it’s a guilt-free indulgence that will steal the spotlight.

Trimming the tree with sides: Veggie edition

  1. Crispy Brussels sprouts with balsamic glaze: Crispy Brussels sprouts upgraded with balsamic glaze is a revelation. Roasted to perfection, each sprout has a delightful crunch of flavour. Packed with vitamins and fibre, this side dish, at approximately 120 calories per serving, proves that healthy can be delicious and satisfying.
  2. Garlic mashed cauliflower: Swapping traditional mashed potatoes for garlic mashed cauliflower is a brilliant idea. Creamy and satisfying, with only 80 calories per serving, it’s a lighter alternative that doesn’t compromise on taste. The garlic-infused cauliflower mash is a hit and earns its place as a permanent contender for future Christmas dinners.
  3. Quinoa and pomegranate salad: The quinoa and pomegranate salad brings a burst of freshness to the Christmas table. Loaded with protein and antioxidants, the colourful side dish adds vibrancy to the spread. At approximately 200 calories per serving, it’s a guilt-free addition that balances the heartiness of the main course.

Sweeten the season with desserts: Guilt-free indulgences

  1. Vegan pumpkin pie: No Christmas dinner is complete without dessert, and the vegan pumpkin pie will steal the show. With a nutty crust and a rich, creamy filling, each slice is a heavenly treat. At around 250 calories per serving, it allows you to savour the sweetness without overindulging. A perfect conclusion to the feast!
  2. Chocolate avocado mousse: Indulging your sweet tooth with chocolate avocado mousse is a delightful experience. Silky smooth and rich in healthy fats, it’s a guilt-free pleasure at only 150 calories per serving. Garnish with berries, it adds a festive touch to the table and will leave everyone craving more.
  3. Fruit salad with minted honey-lime dressing: A refreshing fruit salad with minted honey-lime dressing provides a light and satisfying end to the meal. Bursting with vitamins and natural sweetness, it’s the perfect guilt-free dessert at approximately 100 calories per serving. A refreshing palate cleanser that will leave you feeling indulged without the indulgence.

I hope you like my alternatives to traditional fayre. It will not only cater to various dietary preferences but will also infuse your Christmas spread with a burst of flavours and colours. Here’s to a festive season filled with joy, good company, and delicious, health-conscious feasting! Cheers!

Let’s (Pokémon) Go

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We’re being constantly reminded about the negative effects of too much screen time and the benefits of getting outside and walking more. But wait a minute, what if there were a way to combine the two? Well there is! So, over the weekend of 26 and 27 August, I did just that…

 

The path to the Pokémon league

For those who don’t know, that weekend was Pokémon Go Fest 2023: Global which, according to the official website, was ‘the biggest Pokémon Go event of the year’.

Having bought my ticket (I wanted the extra challenges only ticket holders can access) and laced up my walking shoes, I was ready to Go.

 

Community, I choose you!

Pokémon Go is an online game you can play on your phone and while the main aim is to catch Pokémon in the real world, there’s so much more to it. Along with spinning Pokéstops, Pokégyms and hatching eggs (all of which come with rewards), you can also participate in raids both locally and remotely. As someone who usually plays solo, remote raids haven’t only given me a way to catch otherwise unobtainable Pokémon, they’ve also given the game a real community feel. I might not be playing alongside other players in the real world but when we’re battling together virtually to take down a legendary Pokémon, it really makes me feel part of a team.

 

Rainbow and the Pokémon master

Another positive aspect of the game is that you’re actively rewarded for walking. The greater the distance, the greater your rewards. So if you want to hatch that 12km egg or get to that local raid spot, you’d better get walking. You’ll likely take in some great sights too.

Over the two days of Go Fest I walked more than 36,000 steps, which according to my phone would burn off 36 hamburgers!! Not bad for someone staring at a screen and catching pixelated monsters.

So even though I didn’t reduce my screen time (in fact I played much more than I usually would), I did get outside, walked a fair distance and caught some envy-inducing Pokémon along the way – one being a rarer than rare shiny Rayquaza!

 

Pikachu’s goodbye

So next time you’re going for a walk, why not get some rewards along the way? You might even bump into Pikachu if you’re lucky.

Can apps keep you on track?

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Where to start? 

Setting yourself any type of goal can be daunting. I struggle with knowing where to start and keeping track of progress but I’ve recently discovered some apps and websites to help me keep on top of my physical and mental wellbeing. Here’s a few of my favourites.

Stop snoozing
The perfect place to start is getting a good night’s sleep. I’m guilty of scrolling on my phone for hours in bed which leaves my mind buzzing and unable to switch off. I find it hard to drag myself out of bed in the morning with next to no energy to do anything productive for myself outside of work, whether that’s exercise, cooking or socialising.

Headspace is an app which is great for people like me who can’t switch off. It provides hints and tips for better sleep, including how to create the perfect sleep environment and ideas to wind down and get the most out of your night’s sleep. One recommendation is to keep your phone out of reach while you sleep – I’ve tried this because it forces me out of bed in the morning to switch off that dreaded alarm!

Once I’ve cracked down on my perfect sleeping routine, I wake up earlier with a replenished tank of energy ready for the day. I can set my alarm earlier and not feel the need to snooze ten times before rolling out of bed.

Enjoying exercise
If you’re not a gym person, there are so many other ways of incorporating exercise into your daily routine. Apps like FitOn have a wide range of workouts that don’t need equipment or endless hours in the gym. These are great for when I feel like doing some exercise but don’t have much time, or when leaving the house feels overwhelming.

As someone who hadn’t focused on running to get fit in the past, discovering the Couch to 5k app made running 5k feel within reach. It’s a fun form of exercise and a great way to challenge yourself which only takes up 30 minutes of your day.

Cooking up a storm
When I’m feeling energised from exercise one of the knock-on effects is wanting to improve my diet. There are several apps which can track what you’re putting in your body and provide easy, healthy meals. I use MyFitnessPal for recipe inspiration and to track my meals. The app also has a huge community where you can share progress and gather motivation from other users.

Using apps can really help with reaching goals, as well as providing personalised exercise routines, community support and an easy way to track your progress.

There’s so much out there to choose from and the apps I’ve mentioned might be a good starting point to try out something new – but do your research and find out what works for you when it comes to your own physical and mental wellbeing.

Have you considered solo travel?

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Planning a holiday can be stressful. Whether it’s dealing with other people’s opinions, not being able to decide where to go or what activities to do when you arrive, the last thing you want when you’re trying to plan a summer get away is deal with added stress! If this sounds all too familiar, why not consider travelling solo instead?

Travelling alone can be a liberating experience, giving you the freedom to travel wherever you want and make decisions about your own budget and itinerary. You might even find it pushes you out of your comfort zone to make new friends and socialise. Solo travelling creates huge opportunities for personal growth while allowing time and space for self-reflection.

It’s natural to feel apprehensive about embarking on a solo trip – you might be concerned about keeping safe or worried about feeling alone.

We’ve come up with some tips to help you embrace solo travel this summer:

Stay safe

  • Share your travel plans and itinerary with trusted friends and family before setting off and stay connected throughout your trip. Think about making the most of apps such as ‘find my friends’ or ‘Life360’.
  • Research destinations before you travel and if you’re not sure where to stay, scope out safe neighbourhoods with good public transport links.
  • Get travel insurance to protect yourself against unexpected cancellations or illness.
  • Learn some essential phrases in the language of the country you’re travelling to or failing that, there’s always Google translate!

Plan your itinerary

  • Make a list of all the things you want to do and have a backup in case your plans change.
  • Have a look at review websites like TripAdvisor to find the best places to visit.
  • Make your trip your own by exploring as much or as little as you want.

Capture the moment

Take lots of pictures so you can look back on your trip with fond memories.

 

Solo travel isn’t for everyone but it’s definitely something to consider if you’re looking to broaden your horizons and discover new and beautiful places on your own terms!

How walking 1,000 miles can change your life

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As I sat on top of Pen Y Fan and poured myself a tea from my flask, I took in the Welsh countryside spread out around me and thought to myself ‘I can’t remember a time when I felt so free.’

This feeling of freedom isn’t something that comes easily to me. Having lived with OCD and Generalised Anxiety Disorder the whole of my adult life, my brain and body are used to living in a tightly controlled state of being. My anxiety was made even worse during the Covid-19 pandemic and I’m not surprised to find that according to Mind, 65% of adults with mental health problems have said it’s got worse since the first national lockdown.

Before the pandemic, I’d learned to live with my mental health condition fairly well and although it still affected me, it didn’t stop me living my life. But once the first lockdown hit and we were being told we had to stay inside, things started to go downhill. OCD makes me feel incredibly out of control and living through an unprecedented situation where no one had any form of control was terrifying. I tried desperately to keep control of as many things as I could and saw it as my ‘duty’ to keep me and my husband safe from the germs and contamination all around us.

I washed and sanitised my hands constantly, scrubbed every surface with bleach and washed and Dettol-wiped everything that came into the house. I couldn’t hug or be near anyone which meant even going for a walk became impossible as I struggled to find routes where I could guarantee I wouldn’t see people. Life became closed in and I became increasingly more anxious and withdrawn.

Fast forward to the end of 2021 and a world ever so slowly returning to some form of normality. Throughout 2020 and 2021 I’d started taking medication and gone to therapy sessions to help me cope with the way I was feeling and as a result, I’d started to take my first tentative steps back into ‘normal life’. It was at this time I came across Country Walking Magazine’s walk 1,000 miles challenge and decided 2022 was the year I’d walk 1,000 miles.

Walking those 1,000 miles has been emotional, exhilarating and life changing. It’s taught me a few things along the way too:

  • Blisters are my new best friend (well they’re not but I’ve had to learn to live with them!).
  • Walking 36 miles in a day will break you. Back in May I walked from Corfe Castle to Weymouth along the Jurassic coast and whilst it was incredibly rewarding, it took me 15 hours and afterwards I couldn’t move for the next 2 days!
  • Rest days are just as important as walking days.
  • The UK is stunningly beautiful and there are so many amazing places to discover.
  • Getting lost is ridiculously easy but it does add on a few extra miles.
  • Life is for living.
  • OCD and anxiety no longer rule my life.

I have a new joy for life I never thought possible – I look forward to getting outside and feel like I’ve got my independence and my life back. While I might not walk 1,000 miles in 2023, walking has become a key part of my daily routine and is something I’ll always prioritise for my mental health.

‘Walking: the most ancient exercise and still the best modern exercise.’ – Carrie Latet

Everyone’s welcome – celebrating LGBT+ History month

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It’s February and we’re celebrating and supporting LGBT+ History month.

Every year the theme changes (for 2022, it’s Politics in Art – ‘The arc is long’) but the aim is the same – recognising milestones in the fight for LGBT+ equality and promoting visibility and acceptance of the queer community, now and in the future.

There are plenty of ways to get involved throughout the month – from British Museum and Tate tours focusing on queer art through the ages, to poetry, cabaret, open mics and film nights. It’s a great opportunity to brush up on your LGBT+ history and culture too and we’ve got some top book recommendations to get you started.

Pride: The story of the LGBTQ equality movement by Matthew Todd – documents the events in the fight for equal rights for the LGBTQ community.

From the Stonewall rights in 1960s New York, through 50 years of activism to ban discrimination and seek acceptance, right up to the challenges that still face queer people today, this book celebrates the activists and movement who have fought for change.

Good as you: From Prejudice to Pride – 30 years of Gay Britain by Paul Flynn – takes the reader on a journey through 30 years of societal and cultural change.

This book includes interviews with key people from the community including Will Young, Russell T Davies and Holly Johnson and shares the unbridled panic and discrimination caused by the AIDS crisis in the eighties, through to the legalisation of gay marriage in 2014.

We can do better than this: 35 Voices on the Future of LGBTQ+ Rights edited by Amelia Abraham – a collection of personal stories from key people in the queer community addressing present day phobias, inequality and violence.

Olly Alexander, Lady Phyll, Beth Ditto and others talk candidly about topics close to their own hearts such as safety, healthcare, gender and education and what we all need to do to move to a more inclusive, safer future.

We’ve included links for these great reads to the UKs oldest LGBT bookshop – Gay’s the Word and you can also find them in all good online and actual bookshops.

If you go down to the (Hundred Acre) woods today

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National Winnie the Pooh day, a day to celebrate A.A Milne’s famous literary creation Winnie the Pooh – not forgetting Christopher Robin and his other friends of course.

“Silly old bear”
I grew up with Winnie the Pooh. From reading the books to watching the films and playing Poohsticks, I still hold a soft spot for him and his pals. I’ve even had the pleasure of meeting him a couple of times. Despite this ongoing endearment for the silly old bear, I confess to not knowing there was a day dedicated to my favourite bear until recently.

While I’ll still celebrate his legacy, I’ve long wondered if there’s actually a deeper meaning to these seemingly innocent characters.

“Oh, bother”
Pathology in the hundred acre wood: a neurodevelopmental perspective on A.A. Milne is a study carried out by Dr. Sarah E. Shea, where she looks further into this theory. Although tongue in cheek, the report highlights some interesting points about each character which many would find relatable today.

“Somewhere at the top of the Hundred Acre Wood a little boy and his bear play. On the surface it is an innocent world, but on closer examination by our group of experts we find a forest where neurodevelopmental and psychosocial problems go unrecognized and untreated” – the study rather darkly reports. Is it troubling to think these characters are (predominantly) aimed at children, or enlightening these issues were highlighted so openly in 1926?

Do these characters in fact help raise the very real need for support and awareness of our own mental wellbeing, as well as those around us? Given they’re so deeply embedded in our culture in a positive way, perhaps they could they help end the stigma of mental health.

“Oh, d-d-dear”
What I feel is made apparent by Pooh and pals is that mental health issues are not obvious and even those you feel are least likely to be affected can be struggling.

According to the study, our main protagonist, Winnie, could easily be diagnosed with ADHD, OCD or binge eating. His sidekick, Piglet, severe anxiety, Eeyore, chronic depression and Tigger, ADHD.

“Thanks for noticin’ me”
With an ongoing pandemic, mental health issues have been on the rise and it’s great to escape to somewhere like the Hundred Acre wood every now and again. What we need to be wary of is whether someone is getting a bit lost while they’re there.

We can learn many lessons from Winnie and the gang, but I feel one of the most important is that sometimes just being there is enough.

So next time you’re celebrating the legacy of Winnie the Pooh, take some time to check in with yourself, a friend or a family member. Although everything might appear sunny in the Hundred Acre Wood, we all have dark days and mental health issues can easily be missed if we don’t pay close enough attention.

“TTFN! Ta-ta for now!”
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
“Pooh!” he whispered.
“Yes, Piglet?”
“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”

A.A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner

Proud to be…

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The theme for Black History Month (BHM) this year is “Proud to be…”. This year, black and brown people across the UK are being encouraged to share different traits about themselves that they’re proud of in an effort to add a bit of a personal touch to BHM whilst also celebrating the diverse heritage and culture of black and brown people in the UK.

In line with this year’s theme, I thought it would be fitting to share a few things about myself that I am proud of/proud to be. In doing so, I hope to inspire other black and brown people to do the same (either publicly or privately, whichever’s easier for you :))

I am…

  • Proud to be black
  • Proud to be Zimbabwean
  • Proud to be a part of the conversation
  • Proud to be me

It feels weird to publicly express that I’m proud to be black. A lot of people are probably thinking “Well Panashe, we’d assume that goes without saying”, but honestly, I don’t think that’s necessarily true. Growing up black is quite complex – there have been numerous points in my life where I’ve questioned my “blackness”. And many-a-time where I’ve been made to feel as though being black makes me a lesser person.

“Don’t get emotional, you’ll just be labelled that angry black man.” “Hmmm, maybe don’t do that/say that, you’ll be looked at weirdly.” These are just a couple of thoughts that regularly pop into my head during interactions with people. “Conformity is key, and any step away from the status quo is a step towards ostracisation.” I read this in a blog post by Kendra Summers and it really resonated with me.

Being Zimbabwean adds yet another layer of complexity to being black and this really only became apparent to me when I moved to the UK. Now, even among other black people (mainly Black British people), I occasionally feel a little out of place. I love being Zimbabwean – I love our food, I love our languages, I love our traditions. But there have been moments where I’ve been made to feel ashamed of being Zimbabwean, moments I would rather not bring up for fear of getting into conversations marred by prejudice and based on absurd stereotypes.

Zimbabwe is the place I call home – growing up there played a big role in moulding me into the person I am today and I’m proud to say that! That sense of pride and willingness to share where I’m from has mainly come as a result of having conversations with people who have had similar experiences. Although the cause of discrimination may be different and everyone’s experiences are unique, often I can empathise with that feeling of self-doubt/anger/confusion/sadness that comes through during conversations with other people. Hearing about and trying to understand other peoples’ experiences has had a profound effect on me – not only has it allowed me to view life from a different perspective, but it’s also made it easier to embrace who I am.

All of the things above are a big part of who I am and I am proud to say that out loud – I am a black man, proud of where I’m from, proud of the way I speak, proud to be me!

My Menopause Story

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  • Menopause symptoms

    Hot sweats

    Vaginal dryness and discomfort during sex

    Difficulty sleeping

    Fatigue

    Low mood or anxiety

    Depression

    Lack of focus

    Headaches

    Problems with memory or concentration

    Water retention, flatulence, bloating

  • Menopause symptoms

    Stomach pain

    Irregular periods

    Weight gain / slower metabolism

    Breast soreness

    Burning mouth syndrome

    Painful joints  / muscle tension

    Dizzy spells / pins & needles

    Thinning hair

    Increased facial hair

  • Menopause symptoms

    Gum recession

    Itchy skin

    Brittle nails

    Urinary incontinence

    Body odour

    Hay fever and allergies

    Heart palpitations

    Panic attacks

    Osteoporosis

    Irritability

    Loss of libido

The menopause pretty much affects all aspects of your life – like a total system meltdown. So it’s not surprising irritability and loss of libido feature on the list of symptoms, given all the rest . . .

The lists above include known symptoms women across the globe suffer during the peri-menopause and menopause journey. While I don’t claim to have experienced all of them, a lot of them are very familiar to me. Some I was aware of and was expecting – hot flashes, weight gain, irregular periods, loss of libido. Some, were frankly a nasty surprise (the flatulence, urinary incontinence, the emergence of a hairy jawline, the depression). The hot flashes, by the way, are like a gas water heater flaring violently into action.

Of course, the knock on effect has been a loss of self-esteem and my sense of self, who I am, all I have achieved. For me, it also coincided with a crisis of confidence in my career and my ability to hold down a senior role.

Cultural expectations

The real kick is, as you are struggling to cope with crippling hormonal headaches, sleep loss, hot flashes and the like there’s an expectation to maintain a youthful appearance and a slim figure: eat less, much less! Exercise more, much more! Just as the menopause has robbed you of energy and willpower you’re encouraged not to ‘let yourself go’.

The media bombards us with images of the perfect older women who have held it together and still look amazing for their age. Good for them, but it isn’t truly representative of the majority of menopausal women. And because the menopause is a women’s issue, it is by default a minority issue – even though women represent 50% of people on the planet.

When will women’s health be prioritised?

So beyond Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), there is nothing available to alleviate symptoms and very little research into other methods. It is simply not a priority. HRT is not an option for me and my sister due to a history of breast cancer in my immediate family.

Juggling health, family and work

The menopause hit me like a steam train as my parents started to need additional support, and in my mother’s case, there was the increasing dementia as well as physical deterioration. Years of (sometimes) painful periods, the dangers and pain of childbirth are just the start of women’s health issues we all have to learn to cope with. The onslaught gathers pace during the menopause with juggling work, teenagers, ageing parents and a whole host of nasty symptoms.

Light at the end of the tunnel?

I can’t say I am through the other side of my menopausal journey even now – the whole process can take around 10 years – 10 years! But fingers crossed, I might be close. I haven’t had a period for more than 20 months. The hot flashes that come and go for months at a time have stopped again over the last few weeks and I am sleeping a little better. I haven’t had to change my sweat-soaked pyjamas or the sheets in the middle of the night for a while now. Oh, and the frequently recurring breast cysts I used to get have stopped.

But the menopause is wholly unpredictable and you never know, some of this might come back again at any time.

For information about menopause and other aspects of aging women’s health, visit https://www.imsociety.org/

 

Giving back

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“Everyone can experience the joy and blessing of generosity; because everyone has something to give.”
Jan Grace, Author.

Over the past 18 months we’ve seen some of the amazing things people have given. Whether it’s their time, effort, energy or expertise to help others, the compassion shown has been inspiring. As well as this, lots of us have donated to causes we care deeply about, from the NHS to animal shelters, environmental causes or charities tackling social issues – giving back or trying to help those less fortunate is something we should all strive to do.

What‘s in it for me?
Volunteering is often, rightly, viewed as a way to give back, be it to a community, group of people or a cause. But not only are there benefits for the people and causes receiving help, lots of volunteers talk about the positive effects volunteering has for them.

Volunteers from Volunteer Scotland talk about the feeling of pride, achievement, gratitude and sense of wellbeing they get from volunteering. And not only that, volunteering can give you the opportunity to learn new skills, make you feel part of a community and build new friendships – getting out the house to socialise while doing some good is definitely something many of us want to do after the year we’ve had. All of these things can also help improve your mental health – it really is win-win!

What can I do?
The National Council for Voluntary Organisations, Do It, and the Government website are great places to start your search for voluntary work. You can also keep an eye on local Facebook groups and community noticeboards for opportunities. If you want to volunteer regularly it’s important to find something that interests you, as it’s more likely to keep you invested. Maybe you want to donate some money to charity? It’s worth exploring whether your employer offers give as you earn donations or payroll giving, as this way donations are made directly from your salary, in a tax efficient way, to your chosen charity.

It doesn’t just need to be your time or money you volunteer either. You could have a wardrobe clear out and donate your pre-loved clothes to charity, or how about combining a workout with doing some good? GoodGym bring together physical exercise with helping out in local communities by organising local runs to volunteer at food banks, shift earth for community groups, plant trees in local parks, and loads of other amazing projects.

There are loads of great causes to get involved with, so let us know if you volunteer for anything.

I just want to go to Soho on a Monday morning

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Before Miss Coronavirus embarked on an extensive world tour that would give even Cher a run for her money, my absolute favourite pastime was going to Soho on a Monday morning.

I’ve said this a few times by now to different people, and each time I’m met with a ‘Why Monday? Monday’s are the worst’ kind of look. Well, Mondays are actually the best.

If you get on the 14 bus around 10am, it’ll take you straight into Piccadilly once the morning commute has passed its peak. You can then slink off the bus and immediately get lost in the tiny side streets between China Town, Piccadilly and Soho. If you go in spring, the mornings are dewy, fresh and bright meaning it’s the perfect weather to sit in Golden Square and have an Oat cappuccino from the Veggie Pret on the corner dahhling.

I used to stop in at Fiorucci, browsing completely uninterrupted which made me feel like a celebrity, especially when the staff learned my name. If I wasn’t doing that, I’d peruse Good News Soho and buy one of their outrageous fashion and music magazines, or thumb through the records at Sister Ray and Reckless Records on Berwick Street.

The reason I’m telling you this is because it makes my soul so unbelievably happy.

I moved to London in the hopes of finding somewhere like Soho where I’d feel connected to the queer community. Historically, London has always embodied the queer spirit – from accommodating the Gateways Club (the world’s longest running lesbian nightclub -1936 to 1985) to the Blitz Kids in Covent Garden co-hosted by Steve Strange and Rusty Egan from 1979/80, and a whole lot more. London feels like the queer homecoming I’d always dreamed of. For me, a queer kid who grew up in the countryside, the capital represented the soul of gay liberation, and I wasn’t wrong by any stretch, but I was definitely wearing my rose-tinted glasses.

I’m still haunted by my first threatening homophobic encounter in London. In my experience, in the countryside it never got to a place of violence. You’d be called various names, bullied, maybe shoved, but it never got to a place where you’d be scared for your life. That doesn’t mean to say it can’t happen – hateful acts of ignorance can happen anywhere.

That very first time, I was thankfully with one of my best friends Sue, a trans girl from Derby, and another cis girlfriend whom we’d met at uni. I won’t go into details about the event, but we quickly found ourselves in a highly threatening situation in a very public space outnumbered by a group of guys. I’ve turned this over and over in my head for the three years since it happened, and two things stay firmly planted in my mind.

Number one – although it was probably mine and Sue’s obvious flamboyance that caught the lads attention, our girlfriend who had been with us was equally ‘in trouble.’ It made me realise that if these ignorant homophobes had no respect for queers, they most certainly didn’t have any respect for women either. In that moment I saw firsthand the solidarity between women and queer folk – shared experiences of belittling and terror that both parties have, out of necessity, become accustomed to. I am so grateful for the woman in my life, they have given me strength, inspiration and motivation to be the person I am today. Many women share our queer spirit and for that they are forever a part of our community.

Number two – as I previously mentioned, this was a VERY public place. Not one person who witnessed our encounter with the boys bat an eye. Not one of the many adults in the vicinity came to help or defend three 18 year olds in immediate danger. We were kids back then. It still makes me exhale heavily – I was so disappointed and disillusioned. Those rose-tinted glasses cracked that day.

I realise now these experiences have placed a hot pink fire in my soul which has ultimately made me embrace my queerness and non-binary identity louder and prouder than ever. The queer spirit is made of hardy stuff. It’s not to be underestimated.

As an ally what can you do?

First of all, to address the big rainbow elephant issue in this post. You don’t have to be superman and fly in and save the day when you see queer folk in danger. You could end up putting yourself and others in danger too. However, you have a responsibility as an ally to alert the authorities or step in if the situation can be managed without police enforcement. We still need support.

On a lighter note.

When the lockdown on our lives has finally been lifted, go to Soho on a Monday morning and soak up the queer energy the place has to offer. Go a few streets down and visit the plaque on Heddon Street where Bowie shot the cover for his infamous 1972 Ziggy Stardust album. Or travel a little further towards Warren Street and visit Gay’s The Word, an original LGBTQIA+ bookshop which has been standing strong in all its pride since 1979. Not to sound like an overplayed airlines advert, but you should really experience queer culture first hand, there’s nothing quite like it.